“Theory of Dancers as Ice Cream Flavors”
Provided by Wayne Winders
Wayne is a photographer in Peoria, IL. He has a fun twist on dance styles.
One time after dancing at a dance away from home, I was trying to explain to a friend what the dancing in this city was like. I started off saying it was plain, blah, nothing fancy, just vanilla dancing. Then I revised this to be, “But it was good vanilla, French Vanilla I guess.” Then I started thinking of other flavors of dancers I had run across. This list represents some of the flavors I’ve danced with…
Just starting, not yet competent. Usually sweet, but artificial.
Just starting, but incredibly good when you’re expecting just a popsicle.
Plain, no frills, mundane. Nothing exciting, but not bad either.
Someone who is very competent at vanilla dancing
Generic or Store brand chocolate
Been around for years but just never seems to improve.
(Crunchy) Peanut Butter
Sticks to the roof of your mouth. Doesn’t blend well with ice cream. Not smooth. Always late. Hard to move and get past. But has stuck around for years anyway.
A person at the point in their dancing maturity where they try to throw in all of the twirls, flairs, etc. In an attempt to be good, they attempt every move they can before they can execute them smoothly, resulting in a rough mixture of unlike things that is not cohesive.
Tastes good by itself, but blends with no other flavors on earth. Someone who dances for their own enjoyment, makes no connection with any other dancers
A delicious exotic ice cream that 99+% of the population has never heard of. A very good dancer from outside the local area.
Very smooth, rich, and delicious without being too sweet. A dancer who has a very smooth, graceful style. Can handle twirls, flairs, etc., but need not do them. Usually has deep eye contact.
Hot fudge sundae with whipped cream, nuts, and a cherry
Incredibly sweet and delicious looking. A work of art without ever tasting it. Once tasted, drives thoughts of all else from the mind.
Could stand on it’s own, but has lots of nuts thrown in to make it interesting
Pralines & Cream
Basically vanilla with a small stripe of smooth, creamy caramel and an occasional pecan to stumble over.
Good in it’s own way, but not real ice cream. Technically good, but no emotion- uninspired.
A combination of flavors, each of which stands on it’s own. A person that can (and usually does) execute the flairs beautifully by themselves, but melds perfectly when met by someone of equal competence.
Raspberry Chocolate Truffle with lots of syrup
All the right moves in all the right places at the right time. Very smooth, extremely rich, challenging to handle the entire thing by yourself. Sweet with an occasional surprising bite of tartness.
Smooth, sweet but dark, rich, intense, attention capturing, delicious
Similar to butterrum, but less extreme. More commonly encountered.
Saturday after an all night dance.
The ice cream on the sidewalk that was dropped on a hot day. It then melts and over a few hours starts to dehydrate ending up being a dry, sticky, gooey film with dirt and bugs on it – general a pile of nasty glop.
Sunday morning of a good dance weekend
And one final note… If slang for an older woman is crone, and if said woman dances frequently, would that make her an Ice Cream Crone?